Gretchen Martin is more than a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. She’s a wife, a mother, a grandmother. She’s a Christian and an active member of her church and community. Now, she’s adding author to her list of accomplishments with this book about the childhood sexual abuse she experienced. Journaling and therapy began for her in 1979 but as she learned it was okay to talk about her past trauma it became evident that there was worth to her discoveries. It was then that Gretchen became determined to delve deep and share her honest words world-wide and with you. The writing was challenging, the process long, but now her experiences are here to hopefully help anyone who might be struggling due to their childhood sexual abuse experience.
I’ve known Gretchen since we were in first grade together back in the mid 50s – you might as well say almost my entire life. We’ve been the best of friends all these years and I have to say that I’ve never met anyone less assuming, more honest, loyal, and just an all around pleasure to be around. It wasn’t until the last several years that I found out about G’s horrible life as she was growing up – she never let on but kept her hidden secret just that. Apparently, she even hid it from herself all those years and though she suffered the downside from all the trauma, even she couldn’t put a name on the cause of it. I guess that’s typical of sufferers of abuse as a device to protect themselves from the sheer horror of what’s befallen them at any age. God Bless little Gem who absorbed the pain, the horror, the fear of not being able to trust those around her who were supposed to protect her and keep her safe. I’m wondering how G’s life would have turned out if not for the years of therapy and all the “ hard work “ that she had to put into it herself. Today, she seems very well balanced & happy with her life – although she apparently still has flashbacks and constant bad memories from everything that happened to her. At least, because of therapy and an intense desire to help herself, she can now deal with all the negatives that have plagued her throughout her entire life – still no easy task but doable for her. I believe that the greatest healing factor in all this was her intense faith & trust in her God, who saved her again and again at every point in her life when she’d hit bottom. May we all attain that same grace that she enjoys and trust in our God to likewise save us.
My hat is off to her for baring her soul to the whole world in an effort to help others who have suffered similar fates at the hands of selfish, narcissistic, cruel, individuals who have no feelings or even care about the pain & suffering that they inflict on their victims but are only interested in satisfying their own animal lust. It was bad enough that Gretchen was abused multiple times by her so called Uncle Bob but having to live in fear that it could happen again and knowing it was coming without anyone to help her had to be astronomically un-nerving. Worse yet was that fear of her own father who, rather than being her protector, was instead her worst night mare with no where for her to turn for help or protection – I mean, your worst night mare under your very own roof where you’d expect to be safe from any harm or fear. I can’t imagine the unfathomable fear & tension placed on anyone – never mind such a tender little psyche. Try for a minute to put yourself in that position where you are safe no where, that you are helpless to protect yourself from the coming pain & horror, and that you’re a prisoner to abuse in your own house at any time or at the whim of a sick, perpetrator and on top of that – it’s your own father ! Where the hell do you go – there’s no place to hide, no one coming to save you or even to try to make your life better ! It’s a wonder anyone’s sanity survives the horrors of abuse !
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As I had previously mentioned my hat being off to G for exposing her most secret of shameful horrors, she told me that she believes that it’s God’s plan for her to try bringing peace to others who have shared the same or similar fates. Through her conviction to champion the cause of abuse victims and by trying to publicly shed light on the subject of abuse, she’s hoping to reach those troubled souls who were victimized and make them realize that they’re not alone – not only is there help out there for victims but there are people out there who care and want to help them to heal and enjoy a good life or at least a better life. Running & hiding from the monster is not the answer but rather the facing of it head on and dealing with it is. Just a quick thought, maybe a sincere hope – wouldn’t it be awesome if even one abuser were to read Gretchen’s book out of curiosity and had their eyes open to the cruelty & horror of their actions ? – always a possibility ! I still can’t believe how brave Gretchen is to share publicly the very depths of her soul but then I guess that’s what it takes to produce real results – you have to believe in those who have been there, walked through that fire, and have come through the other side of it with healing and a more happy, positive life.
God Bless You Gretchen & Gem ( Diamond Girl ) – my friends eternally ! Thank You for writing this book & and for being my life long friend.
BL